unplanned

It's 9:26am here in Waco, I had no intention of blogging today. Adam took B to school and then went to work a home restoration job with his good friend to earn a little extra cash, so its just me here, alone. I love being alone but I rarely ever am so I intend on savoring my few precious hours this morning. Most people who know me assume I'm an extrovert right off the bat, I do enjoy people, making new friends, hosting social gatherings, etc.. but the truth is that I'm an introvert to the core. If I don't get time alone to re-charge I'm worthless and grouchy. Lately I've felt a little grouchy and even expressed this to Adam yesterday (thankfully he said he hadn't noticed), if I asked Brennan I have a feeling I'd get a different answer. I can't really pin-point why I've been grouchy grouchkins (that's what I call B when she's grouchy :)) but I think part of the reason is my lack of being alone lately. I'm blessed, I get my husband home a lot and truth be told, I'd have it no other way. With that said, I do miss my 2 days a week of B being in school and me having free reign of the house, my soul just needs it I think. When Adam and I first started dating (if you could even call it that, we saw each other like 2 days a month!) he would kinda freak out b/c he couldn't understand how I was able to be in silence for so long without needing to say anything (or without being upset, etc.). I love silence, being still...I crave it. The Bible says to be still and know he is God, so I think we all need a little more silence just for that if nothing else. I think sometimes we forget that he alone is God and has it all under control, I know I do.
Once a month at church we have a meeting called "emerging parents," its essentially a time for the families in the church to get together and share a meal, then the kiddos go away (under supervised care of course:)) and the parents talk about an issue related to parenting. Last night we talked about what it looked like to be intentional about keeping our marriages where they should be in light of being parents because life gets so crazy/busy. It was a good discussion and I appreciated it. Divorce has been all too prevalent in my life the last several years and I loved taking time to be intentional and talk about what it means to keep your marriage a priority. This looks different to different people and obviously there is no one answer, but merely having the discussion has value. I'm not sure where I'm going with this or what this blog post is even about (if anyone is actually still reading, kuddos to you!), as I said, I wasn't planning on blogging today. I'm having one of those moments where I feel like I'm not really typing, my fingers are just moving and this is what is coming out. Maybe this was meant for one person today, I don't know, but if thats the case, awesome. I certainly don't claim to be an expert on well, anything really, but I do know that we hear better when we're actually listening, and God is real and has something to say. I want to hear Him, do you? xo