My eyes filled with tears today when I went to pick up my girl from school. I was overcome with emotion imagining all of the parents in Connecticut who no longer have their kids to pick up. I was reading the "Inspired by Christ" logo on the marquee as I walked up the steps into B's school. The prayer of St. Francis was being read over the intercom:
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
These words seemed especially poignant today and they pierced my heart. I was praying that Brennan's heart would be touched by them and they wouldn't be some mindless ritual at the end of her school day. On Sunday our pastor shared a story of a scholar who was slated to write a publication, when suddenly his 30 year old daughter died of a pulmonary embolism. The publisher contacted the professor to explain that he was of course released from his obligation and they understood if he wanted out of his contract due to the circumstances. His response was "If I can't write about the resurrection of Jesus at a time like this, then I ought not to write about it at all." I gave an audible "Amen" as tears filled my eyes as I imagined that being my story. All I can say is I'm thankful that I know Jesus, without Him I would have no hope, with him, in spite of this world and my circumstance I have hope. I cling to the hope that he will do what he says he will do, he will make things right, he will come again to restore this brokenness and this mess of a world.
Yesterday I was in my car and the Christmas hymn "Oh come let us Adore Him" was on the radio, again my eyes filled with tears b/c in my sadness over the senseless loss of life this past week I was reminded that even in the midst of this, our hearts should be begging "let us adore you, Jesus, please let us come to you, give you the adoration that you deserve because you are good all the time, even when it hurts.
This past week was a hard week for a lot of reasons, I journeyed with a friend through many tears as she suffered a miscarriage, I sat and listened as another friend cried over her marriage ending. In this midst of all of this that surrounds each one of us, as we approach Jesus' birthday may we be reminded to "come and adore him" even still. In the midst of whatever is going on in your life, Jesus will meet you right where you are, he is good and worthy of praise. xo