April 2, 2014

the long goodbye begins

Last night at mi casa we had to bring up the fact that mi casa is almost over...it is April and all and they graduate in May -WHAT?!! It was hard, several of them wanted to ignore it and pretend it wasn't happening, several were in shock at the reality, and some were just plain sad. It was hard. We discussed some ideas for what we want the "last" mi casa to look like -they were adamant it had to be at our house and that I would cook, they said going out just wouldn't feel right. I agree. What they don't know is that Adam and I have committed to writing each one of them a letter, a personal heartfelt and dense letter specific to their strengths and hearts. To make this doable I've started writing a couple a day -its heart wrenching. I hate saying goodbye, let alone to kids who I've poured myself into for 4 years. I've been doing youth ministry for about 20 years now and what never changes is the goodbyes - I hate it. I always tell people photography is what I do to pay the bills, I do love it and have a passion for it -don't get me wrong, but my HEART, what my "calling" is, what I'm created to do, is pour into kids. Thankfully this is something I've known for a long time, the Lord placed this in my heart at a young age, its what I went to college for, what I was made for, and its ultimately what breaks my heart. I undoubtedly learn more from "my kids" than I "teach" them, and I'm always left amazed that they choose to share their lives with me, that they show up to my house each week when sometimes all we do is talk about random things and have no agenda, but they still come.

Our friends have started taking us out to dinners, inviting us over for our last this and that, that's hard and wonderful all at the same time. I'm so thankful for the many people Adam and I have gotten to meet on this crazy, long journey -such a blessing, I just wish I could take them all with me and not have to say the dreaded "goodbye" word. I'm a bit emotional these days and imagine I'll stay in this place for a while, and that's okay, but if you think of it we'll take your prayers. :) Well, I'm gonna go write another letter or two and then gather myself for the rest of the day. Whew! Thanks for reading and checking in. xo


Anonymous said...

Oh, Molly - this takes me back to your Young Life days and how hard it was to say goodbye to your kids in college. But you still stay in touch w/so many as you will these kids too! They have been blessed to have you and Adam as mentors and friends. Lots of new beginnings and wonderful memories.

Robin said...

The letters you write will be cherished and used for good. That kind of effort is rare, so much more noticed and appreciated. I'm also happy for those kids in California who are soon to be part of your calling.

Kemi Winn said...

I agree, goodbyes are so hard. Your heartfelt affirming letters are going to bless your kids so much. They must be very thankful for the home away from home that you have been for them-most from brand new freshmen til graduation.