I hated the way B's new school did the first day, we hadn't met B's teacher and all the students are looking for a sign with the teacher's name on it and it was total chaos. We had the hardest time finding her teacher and it just felt awkward to not have a proper introduction. I went with B to her class (along with the whole herd of parents/students, etc.) and they had B sitting at a table with 2 boys and 1 girl but the girl wasn't there! I kept praying she would show up, how hard to not even have a girl at her table!! I knew I had to leave quickly b/c I could feel the tears coming and I didn't want to break down in her classroom. I kissed her on the cheek, told her I loved her and literally ran to my car where I collapsed into tears as soon as I got in. That was hard. I know kids are resilient, I know in a matter of time this will seem so silly and like a distant memory, but today, in this moment, I feel like I just left my heart in a strange place and walked away, and it kills me. I hate moving.
Yesterday we tried a new church, and it was just plain awful. I know we won't be able to replace UBC and I had no illusions coming here that we would, but I was reminded yesterday of just how unique UBC is and how that community was one of a kind. All 3 of us walked out discouraged and B said "I know where the perfect church for us is, in Waco." I agree, B, I miss it too. I hate moving.
Sorry, for not blogging for a while this post is a big downer, but I'm admittedly not in the best mental/emotional place at the moment...I'll get better, it will just take time.
I took photos of my loves on their first day, can't wait to have them both home and hear how everything went...big day of firsts in the Winn household today! Thanks for checking in, all, prayers for my girl today are more than appreciated. xo