November 10, 2014

an intense season and 37

Lately when people ask "How are you?" I feel like I take a deep breath and say "I'm okay!" I try to sound a bit optimistic while being honest and also not wanting to go into a big ol' novel about all that's been going on if they were just asking to be polite and not if they don't have time to really hear. To wrap up these past several months the word that comes to mind is "intense." It has been non-stop from the moment we landed in California and the few months prior to that were pretty intense as well. Lots of travel this summer, lots of shooting, packing up a house and moving across the country, etc. Since August 1st its just been a whirlwind of moving, painting, house projects, birthdays, etc. and survival mode is how we've been living. I've said for a while now that "once mid November comes things will change" and I believe that. I think we have 1 more week of intensity and I think we'll slowly see the tides turning in our house...and I can't wait. I'm SO past ready to feel normal again, and to not feel like each day I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off just trying to make it until I lay down in my bed each night. Sigh. I'm ready for a breather. We all have seasons of life that are harder/more intense than others and we're just in the midst of one of "those" seasons of life right now. I feel like God has been working on my heart a lot in this time of my life and I'm trying to grow and be receptive to the changes he wants to make in me. I know at the beginning of this year I said I wanted to be more gracious, and I feel like the Lord is putting me in positions where I have that opportunity -and its hard. I keep having this inner dialogue in my mind about what I can do to be "better." I want to be a peacemaker, I want to put others needs before my own, I want to forgive when I've been wronged and move on and not be a grudge holder. I just want to be better, not because I'm so great but because I think its what God desires for me as a follower of his. Some tough life lessons I'm learning these days, but I think in the long run it will be good, life- giving growth.

I turned 37 yesterday...that sounds awfully close to 40 to me! (I still feel 27....that's normal, right?). It was a good day, very chill but good. I woke up to lovely cards from my family, made this Martha Stewart chocolate peanut butter cheesecake, went to church (where Adam and I realized we might not be totally ready to commit ...ay yi yi), went out to lunch, came home, took a nap, played a game with my little family, made some baked brie, and had a few of my nearest and dearest friends over for some cheese, wine and cheesecake. It was low key and a nice way to ring in year 37. I had so many lovely friends and family members email me, facebook me, text me, call me, etc. to wish me a happy birthday -it was such a sweet reminder of how blessed I truly am to have such special people in my life. I'm a blessed gal.

Well, thanks for enduring my ramblings...I feel like there's a lot going on in my head these days. I have loads of work to do this week but....calmer days are ahead and hopefully I can get caught up on photos of B, the house, etc.. As always, thanks for checking in. xo


Kirsten said...

Happy belated birthday Molly! Cheese, wine, and cheesecake sounds absolutely delicious. Can't wait to see more house pics and I'm glad that you have some calmer weeks up ahead.

Robin said...

I love you Molly. This post is special. Honest and thoughtful without being morose or boring. May the grace of Jesus be your hiding place during the busy times you are living.