April 27, 2016

The Long Road to Home

When I married Adam we had a plan, as the joke goes "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans." And isn't that the truth?! We thought grad school, job, family, etc... Mainly we thought after years and years of grad school a job would quickly follow -ha! Anyone who has been on this long journey with us knows what a joke that is! It took 7 years for Adam to get his first job which not only "messed up our plans" but took us on a long, wind-y road to finding our home. When we took a big leap of faith and moved to Waco, Texas in August of 2010, it became clear quite quickly that Waco was home. When Adam's job took us to California the three of us experienced a hole in our hearts we couldn't ignore or fill, and it was the Waco-shaped hole of home. If you know me personally and have walked with me closely these past 2 years then you already know how much begging and pleading I have done with the Lord to take us back to Texas. Being a Christ follower is a funny thing sometimes because you have to wrestle a lot with what the Lord's plans are in relation to your desires and the two don't often add up and its hard and confusing and scary. I won't go into all the details and ins and outs of what this journey/process has been like the past 2 years, (more specifically the past 4 months) but what I will say is that God is faithful. My husband recently accepted a tenure track position at a university that is taking us back to Waco, to say we are thrilled would be an understatement. But here's the thing, I don't ever want to be "that person" who proclaims God's faithfulness (only) when things "go my way." If you've been following my blog for a while you know this isn't me at all but I am very aware of how easy it is to proclaim God's faithfulness in the good times, and I realize how hard life is/can be and I want to be sensitive to that and proclaim: God is faithful no matter what. Adam and I have often been on "the losing side" of the job hunt, we've made it to the final round and not been the one chosen. Clearly there was someone who wasn't chosen because Adam was and I know that heartache and disappointment and I don't take that hurt lightly. Adam getting the job means someone else didn't and I imagine that person is on a long road to a job or a home, I get it. As I've said more times on this blog than I can count, God is faithful even still, as true as it is that good things come in small packages (I love my Christmas stocking the best of all! :) I believe long, hard roads (often) lead to extreme gratitude, affirmation, and thankfulness. The road to home has been a long one for us, but man, it feels really good to be on it. xo

April 5, 2016

"Moving On"

I love how you can hear a song and it grabs you and speaks to your heart in that exact.moment. This new song by Mat Kearney is my current jam. Good stuff here.

We were young, we were brave
With our eyes wide shut in the choices we made
Well you lit the match and I got caught with the flames
And your voice still rings out through my mind
And the thorns still twist down in my side
All the promises that we left for dead in the night (woo woo)

Because I'm moving on, letting go
Forget the past and giving up the ghost
All we are is fading stars, life's too short to stay where we are

Forgive, let live and move on tell me that's gonna make me stronger
Forgive, let live and move on (woo)
Forgive, let live and move on tell me that's gonna make me stronger
Forgive, let live and move on (woo)

Maybe I'm broken, maybe its the fame
Maybe it's the moment you said I had changed
Where did thirteen years go like I didn't know you at all (woo woo)

I heard you were back with regrets and you meant it
I had a reply to your text, never sent it
Bridges were burning in accusation
Funny how time is the great revelation (woo)