May 31, 2016

crunch time

T-1 week and 1 day until we make the big move back to Waco. It's that time that I hate in every move, where life becomes inconvenient because most things are packed, you are eating on paper plates and eating not-great food because most of your cooking stuff is packed, the house looks sad because things are coming off the walls and it becomes the empty shell you walked into nearly 2 years ago. Brennan has 2.5 days left of school and I'm not sure whose more excited, me or her? I am SO OVER the long trek to her school each day, and since I don't feel like I was ever really here this go around I'm admittedly detached from her school and just want to go home. I've said to Adam on more than one occasion that I think this will be the most anti-climactic move we've ever made, I really think we'll get into the moving van/car and just drive off with little emotion over actually leaving. These past 22 months haven't felt like real life to me, I've admittedly lived with one foot out the door since we got here and I think when we get back to Waco it will take about 2 seconds before it feels like we never left and this will all be a distant memory...and truth be told, I can't wait for that. I don't want to be insensitive to our dear friends who have made these past 22 months actually doable, and of course we will miss them terribly, but they have known from day one we haven't been "home" and they are eager for us to get back to it as well.

This past week Adam was out of town, then a friend from Waco came into town for a night, then cousin Mike flew in Friday morning and was here until yesterday morning. We had a fun weekend with him but poor B got sick so that put a damper on some things. Its been kinda nutty around here, but in a good way. :) We've got back to back to back dinners this next week saying goodbye to sweet friends, that's always bittersweet. I can't believe after all the waiting that this past year has entailed that we're here, we're finally HERE. The older I get I find I keep saying things like "life is so weird" to Adam, and he agrees. I think when you inch up on 40 something changes in you, you become more introspective and you start to realize how quickly life goes, how fast kids grow up, how you feel like you're still in your 20s so how can 40 be so near? Its a funny/weird phase of life for me, I've been thinking a lot about what I want for my daughter and for our little family, what lessons I want to teach her and what I hope she doesn't have to figure out the hard way. I've had some weird health stuff and have had numerous drs appointments and its reminded me how fragile life is and has kept me in check with the person I want to be and what I think is really important. I've read lots of books the past 2 years, probably more than ever in my life and I've feel like I've learned new things and gained new insights into this crazy life. I've been intentional about spending a lot of time with people who are wiser than me and have let them pour into me and teach me and its been so life-giving/rewarding. I've kept my mouth shut when I didn't want to and have learned valuable lessons in doing so. I've spoken truth into other peoples lives and have seen it yield some good things and some hard things. I've learned over and over again that good things comes from hard things and that hard things are less hard when you surrender them to Jesus and wait on his timing (have I mentioned I hate waiting?). I won't be sad to say goodbye to this "season" of life if you will, but I am thankful for all I've learned, I'm going to try to remind myself of that truth over and over and over. xo

2 comments:

Kemi Winn said...

Only a week to go-how exciting! Praying for safe travels as you make your way home.😊

Wenni Donna said...

Our daughter will turn 16 soon. From childhood she has desire to visit Atlanta. So thinking to celebrate her sweet 16th party at one of best party venues in Atlanta. She has already made a list of all spots she wants to visit.