March 29, 2017

man...

Whew. Big sigh. Life has been a doozy lately. The closer I inch to 40 the more things are falling apart! Sorry for the long silence, its been a whole thing up in here. My health isn't great at the moment, without going into all the ol' details on the interwebs, if you're of the praying variety, I'll take all you got.  In other news, the house is coming along slowly but surely. We've had a tad bit of rain here and there but its amazing how much a bit of rain slows things down. If we could just get that roof on and those windows/doors we'd be in good shape -so close! The actual shingle part of the roof will hopefully start next week and the exterior doors/windows are another 2 wks out I think. The windows and doors are pretty much what I care the most about in this house so I'm pretty eager to see them up and painted and ready to go! The exterior windows (and lots of the interior as well) are going to be black and I can't wait to see it all come together! As we inch closer to April I'm eager to be one month closer to moving in! Adam and I still don't believe we actually get to live in it one day, its like we're building it for someone else! Its still pretty surreal and I have to pinch myself that its actually happening. The plumber needed the rough in valves so I had to order several of the bathroom fixtures and that's been so fun!! The things that I've spent (admittedly) too much time thinking about and choosing are arriving and they are so pretty! I told my friend yesterday that even if we never got to live in it and we had to sell it because it ended up being too expensive (how tragic and sad that would be!) how thankful I would still be to have had this experience. I have lots of gratitude that I even get to do this, don't ever let me take it for granted.

In other news, St. Patty's was super fun this year! I decided it was time to revive my (annual) party after a hiatus due to moves, etc. It was so fun to have a big ol' group over and to celebrate the Irish! I made 10lbs of potatoes, 10lbs of carrots, more onions than I could count, 2 loaves of Irish soda bread, Guinness brownies, Bailey's cheesecake, and Bailey's bundt cake. We grilled bangers and had Irish mules as our signature cocktail and had the Irish pub music blasting in the background! We laughed until the wee hours and it reminded me how eager I was to get into my own space and do this type of thing more often. Happy sigh.

Well, I've been working here and there and my new website is up and running (check it out! mollywinnphotography.com), it feels good to be back in the saddle! Here is a peek of a cute family that has hired me numerous times over the years, thanks for checking in, all! xo


March 8, 2017

2 apologies

*I started this post back in January and set it aside for a while and now I'm re-visiting it.

I've talked a bit on here about what apologizing looks like, what humbling yourself and saying the words "I was wrong, will you forgive me" can do. As I get older I learn more about what it means to apologize well, what all it entails, what good can come from it even if the person chooses not to forgive you, etc.. I was a part of a really good apology recently and I want to share that here because I think there's value in it.

In January I was on the other side of a hurtful exchange. My friend was being selfish and interjected their agenda into something that wasn't about them. They created a false agenda and honestly were just rude and inconsiderate. I tried to point this out in a way that I felt was fair to the situation, but was ultimately left with silence. Days went by and there wasn't a response, I saw this person briefly and there was a pretty normal interaction but nothing meaningful was said. I wondered if it was just going to go by the wayside, but I really did expect more from this particular individual so I just waited. Well, wouldn't you know it, after several days my phone rang, what was said on the other end was done so well, which is why I'm sharing it here. My friend said to me "Do you have a minute?" yes. "I wanted to talk to you about our exchange last week, I was selfish and created a narrative about the situation that wasn't true. I had a really good time this weekend because of something that you created because you cared for our friends well, so thank you. I'm sorry I responded that way." WHOA. Here's the deal, if we live long enough, we're all going to be that person, we're all going to have moments of being selfish and we're going to say/text/email things we shouldn't, but what we do after the train wreck is where the rubber meets the road. This isn't new, I get it, (in fact, the more I blog the more I feel like I sound like a broken record and wonder if this poor blog should be put to a permanent rest!) but its a lesson I keep learning, so I gotta believe someone out there can keep learning and benefitting from it too. I was really proud of my friend (not to sound condescending) for the words he chose, the intention with which he said them, and the blatant honesty that he brought to the table. He could have easily said "I'm sorry for our interaction, I shouldn't have done that" and to be fair, that would have been sufficient (for this particular instance), but he owned his mistakes, he named them and used language to express the whole truth of the situation and it was really appreciated, helpful, meaningful, and honest. I'm thinking we could all do more of this when we're wrong, the result is really profound. I'm hopeful to do this better in my life.

On the flip side, I received an apology recently (no, I'm really not being wronged all the time! ha!) that was the complete opposite from what I just described. The words "I was wrong" were lacking, naming the sin/wrong was lacking, ownership was lacking, and it felt empty and very half-hearted and easy. And to be honest, it was nowhere near enough based on the wrong that was done. When is the lesson of not taking the easy way out going to be a thing? I think about this a lot, what is hard for an instant is easy thereafter. The hard part is gathering the courage/humility to tell the truth and say "I was wrong, will you please forgive me?" After that, easy street! You are now freed regardless of what the person decides to do -you just have to speak the truth and ask. GO GET YOUR FREEDOM that Jesus has given!!! Its so dang freeing!! As my dear friend often says to me, "You are only responsible for your responses." You can't make someone forgive you, that's not on you, but you do have to own your wrongs, that is on you.

I'm coming off a very emotionally charged week, I don't have the freedom to discuss the details here for numerous reasons but I am really drained. If you could pray for Adam and I, for the wisdom and grace to love some folks well in a really tough time, we'd appreciate that. Life is hard, and doing life with others gets really messy sometimes. I'm thankful for the ways in which I get carried through each day by someone who can't and doesn't show up too late. Grace and peace, friends. xo