May 24, 2017

weather & house (be prepared for a rant if you choose to read...you've been warned)

So I knew building a house would be frustrating and that things would take longer than anticipated, that there would be bumps in the road, etc. I think I was pretty realistic and prepared for a lot of these things and I think I've (largely) kept my cool but I feel like I'm at a bit of a breaking point today. I'm hopeful this discouraged feeling will pass soon but today is one of those days where I want to throw in the towel and wave the white flag of surrender. The two main issues that have been so detrimental to this process are: rain and windows. The windows took exceedingly longer to arrive than anticipated (and they likely should have just been ordered a lot sooner) and we probably started the actual building process at the worst possible time of year as far as central Texas weather goes. Spring in Texas means a lot of thunder storms, they can go quickly but they can also dump an exceptional amount of rain in the short spurts that they come in. To add insult to injury our house has a pretty steep slope to get down to it and there is no driveway yet so trucks can't get in/out to the house after it rains b/c they get stuck so WE WASTE SO MANY GOOD WEATHER DAYS on letting the land dry out so the trucks can actually get down to the house that by the time the land dries the rain comes again. I literally have no words for how defeating this is. I'm not exaggerating when I say that pretty much the past 6 weeks we have been (almost) at a literal standstill in the building process, like (essentially) nothing has been done. SIX WEEKS, people. We were supposed to start insulating this week but we failed our inspection due to some random fire safety thing that needed to be fixed so, of course more delays and another week of nothing happening. So, of course what this all inevitably means is that our whole "move in at the end of July" is now "maybe move in at the end of August." BIG SIGH. This is hard on numerous levels, the first being the obvious of one more month of not being home, the second -we're living at our friend's house, he is coming back mid August and I really wanted to be out of his space for his sake when he got home. He is so gracious and has assured us its fine, but its also easy to say before you're actually here and have 3 people in your space. The thought of moving as B is starting a new school year, etc. all sounds just ick and like a lot. I get asked a lot about how the house is coming along so here you have it...its not (insert crying face). If your of the praying kind and you'd like to join me in the "please no rain for a while" bit. that'd be awesome. :) Sorry for the big 'ol downer post but this is where I'm at today. xo

May 4, 2017

Uninvited

A while back I saw a book with a pretty/intriguing cover and I read the tagline, the book was called "Uninvited" and the caption under the title reads: "Living loved when you feel less than, left out and lonely." I dismissed this book, not because I think I have it all together and that I never struggle with feeling left out but because this didn't really seem like "my issue." Don't get me wrong, I've got issues all day and am pretty aware of what they are (for the most part) but this particular struggle (per se) didn't seem like mine. Well, months go by and this book keeps popping up, here and there on amazon, on folks' instragrams, etc. and finally one person's description of how fantastic it was was too good for me to ignore it any longer, so I ordered it. I had low expectations when I started it but was intrigued enough to give it a go. YOU GUYS, I'm not sure if a book has ever grabbed me in way this one did that made me feel like certain parts were just.for.me. Here's the thing, we ALL feel left out at certain points in our lives and have moments, days, years where this is a thing, and some struggle with this issue a lot more than others but the way Lysa unfolds her experiences were so darn relatable to me and I soaked up every page in like 2 days. I texted one of my friends and said "this book is kicking my as$." {full disclosure}. I truly want every woman reading this blog post to run, not walk, to go buy this book. Even if you don't feel like rejection is "your deal" BUY IT ANY WAY. I would be stunned if there weren't words in these pages that didn't hit your heart in a specific spot somewhere. I'll share a few nuggets but honestly, so much of my book is highlighted and circled and notes are in the margins that I don't know where to start. We all have brokenness somewhere, we have all faced some sort of rejection and this book speaks so beautifully to this and to how when we are truly living loved by God these hurts and wounds and rejections are no longer so crippling. I truly cannot recommend this book enough and can think of many women off the top of my head who I'd love to buy this for -GO GET IT.

*"Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what's been said to me."

*"Rejection isn't just an emotion we feel. It's a message that's sent to the core of who we are, causing us to believe lies about ourselves, others, and God."

*The mind feasts on what it focuses on. What consumes my thinking will be the making or the breaking of my identity."

*"If we become enamored with something in this world we think offers better fullness than God, we will make room for it. We leak out His fullness to make room for something else we want to chase."

*"Bitterness, resentment, and anger have no place in a heart as beautiful as yours."

*"Grace given when it feels least deserved is the only antidote for bitter rot."

*"Humility can't be bought at a bargain price. It's the long working of grace upon grace within the hurts of our hearts."

*"Relationships don't come in packages of perfection, relationships come in packages of potential."

*"Is my attention being held by something sacred or something secret? What is holding my attention the most is what I'm truly worshipping."

This book caused me to examine my rejections that I've faced over nearly 40 years, whether it be broken family dynamics, broken friendships, etc. it was amazing how many things along my life were brought back to me. To be fair, its not that these things are ever too far from my mind, but this book shined a bright light on some of them and caused me to stare it in the face. I can't think of a woman in my life that wouldn't benefit from this book, I implore you to pick it up and get ready to have a good ol' heart check. {"Uninvited" by Lysa TerKeurst} Happy reading, friends! xo